WEIGHTLINE 005: 93Kg
I'm hungry, really hungry. Ravenous, even. The initial impetus has started to wear off & my body is reacting to being fed far less than normal. I can't quite work out yet whether it's purely a mental thing or a physical one, or both. A while ago I took some pictures for a private chef, Paul Duncan of Anise Catering. Fabulously talented, his is just the sort of expertise you want in your home for that special occasion. Today, I found myself browsing through my database of images, lingering on all those containing food. Mad! I was literally salivating when I found his, so it's definitely physical then.
But the mind plays a major role in this lifestyle change thing. I find myself thinking about food & mentally persuading myself that it will be fine to just have a small portion of, a few mouthfuls of, just a tiny bowl of… Of course it will make hardly any difference, so why not? Having been here before, I of course know that this would be just the start of the slippery slope, quite apart from the fact that I have to 'starve' my body to the point where it expects much less food before I can even consider small indulgences.
Why is it so hard? We feed our bodies so much more food than they need to survive & function at peak efficiency. We eat for pleasure, for social interaction, for pure indulgence; we certainly don't eat just to live. And so there is a penalty for this 'misuse' of our bodies & it comes in the form of fat. Of course, fat is essentially the body's way of storing reserves for lean times. But we don't really have lean times any more, so we really should take that into account. There should be mandatory food labelling that states: "only eat when a 3 day famine is imminent".
So, I am condemned to being almost permanently hungry for, how long? Several weeks I reckon, but then my cravings are probably making me a tad pessimistic. Luckily I have badminton tomorrow night; hard physical exercise is always good to take my mind off food. In the meantime, I have to switch my mind to looking forward to breakfast, just to take the focus off the now! Aaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhh!@@!! Why did I stop biting my fingernails!